Fumbling Towards Here

One great thing. One infuriating thing. And there is swearing in this post

Posted by dakota on August 20, 2008

I met my beautiful new baby cousin today. Her mom, my cousin, completed what she deemed a three year pregnancy and just returned from abroad to pick up her little girl. My aunt pulled me aside and said she had never seen her daughter so happy. I had to agree with her. Although my cousin has not really slept in two weeks, she was — I hate to use a cliche but–truly glowing. At a little under two years old, the little one is brilliant (uh of course), strong willed (duh another family trait) and just a love. We spontaneously decided to drive over and have her meet my mom as well. It was a veritable love fest! My cousin whispered to me as we parted, “You and mulberry better hurry up. She needs her baby cousins as playmates.”
Sweet. Incomparable to the news I would be punched in the stomach with as I drove home.

While for the last few days I’ve been trying to gather my feelings around our new plan of action, the insurance company has thrown in a new twist. They’ve denied our claim for mulberry’s IVF. They say she has to have supposedly tried six (!) times before they would allow it. Does that mean if she had a husband with viable sperm and they had been trying for six months she would qualify? I don’t know. I do know I am furious and disappointed and and and it smacks of heterosexist garbage! Although my feelings are mixed because of my own issues (feelings of guilt, loss) we along with our doctor should have the final say on what is the best plan of action for our family.

We are waiting for our doctor to contact us regarding this. We talked about the possibility of our doctor making a case for needing IVF due to advanced maternal age. Mulberry brought up that if this case is successfully made, it may backfire on us if we want to go back to IUI with her at a later date.

Then I started thinking, insurance companies try to deny people with cancer vital services they need so why would they act differently here? I just want to step out of character and say SHIIIIIT! F*CKING A**WIPES ! I hate them all.


7 Responses to “One great thing. One infuriating thing. And there is swearing in this post”

  1. bleu said

    I am so sorry hun. Insurance companies can truly make one insane. Could your doc sate you have had 6 tries?

  2. Melody said

    Do the 6 tries have to have been in the doc’s office? How do they know you haven’t tried 6 times at home w/a known donor?

    Vanessa’s meds, ultrasounds, and bloods for her IVF were somehow covered under insurance, even though she was technically my egg donor and the embryos went back into me. I think the insurance company either wasn’t paying attention or looked the other way. I still imagine them coming back to us and asking for a few thousand dollars 5 years from now ala Michael Moore’s Sicko.

  3. Heidi said

    Yeah for the new cousin!! What wonderful happy news!!

    I am so sorry about the insurance. That simply isn’t fair. ((hugs))

  4. babypants said

    I don’t blame you for swearing. I am really sorry about the horrible news from the insurance company. I hope your doctor can work around that in some way. Your new niece on the other hand sounds wonderful.

  5. Lizzie said

    I hate the insurance companies with a fierce white heat. I am SO SORRY. But also so excited about the new child in your family. What country in Africa? (I used to work in Africa.) Hugs. Sorry about the bastards.

  6. Sarah said

    You can swear all you want. That freakin sucks and its so unfair. I’m sorry.

  7. halfadozen said

    I am spewing a long string of expletives at your insurance comapny for you. you are right, it IS a bunch of heterosexist garbage… The chances of IVF succeeding are so much higher than IUI, and its not likely you would move that way so I would SO take the risk and push forward on the advanced maternal age issue… plus, even if it does backfire, bec. you decide to do IUI, IUI is so much cheaper– better to get them to pay for the IVF….

    Big hugs…

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